Entry tags:

au, eureka, fanfic, fluff, gateverse, het, humor, sg1, v2.0

[SG-1 + Eureka] [Het] [T] Your Old Man and My Old Man
A new installment in the SG-1 v 2.0 series. Follows First Impressions. For the complete series, please see the series' Master List.

Title: Your Old Man and My Old Man
Rating: Teen
Pairings: sort of, vague, almost clone!Daniel/clone!Vala and clone!Cam/Zoe
Length: 1,300 words
Credits: Grateful thanks to daisycm83 for the beta work and triciabyrne1978 for serving as a muse and a technical consultant.

Summary: Vala developed a sudden desire to go bowling. They should’ve known she was up to something.

A/N: Points to you if you get the title.



“Daniel!”

Uh-oh. There’s was a tone in Vala’s voice that meant she wanted something. Daniel would have made an immediate strategic retreat if he and Cam hadn’t been right in the middle of learning the bookkeeping software and setting up the chart of accounts for the business. He wasn’t going to lose half an hour’s work, so he sat silently, hoping she wouldn’t make the effort to come upstairs.

No such luck.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Daniel braced himself. “What do you need, Vala?” (He had learned never to ask what she wanted – the list was too long.)

“Well,” she began, perching on his desk and effectively blocking his ability to work, “I’ve been thinking.”

“You’re in trouble now, Jackson,” Cam muttered from the desk behind him. Vala waved dismissively at Cam and continued on.

“If I’m going to live among the Tau’ri, don’t you think I should have a better understanding of their culture? I think I need to broaden my educational opportunities.”

Daniel thought about it for a moment and was pleased that Vala had come to this conclusion on her own. He knew that making her watch The History Channel would pay off. “That’s good, Vala. Tomorrow we can go apply for your library card–”

“Oh, no,” Vala rushed to clarify, but seeing the disappointed look on Daniel’s face, she added, “well, that too, of course. But I meant that I’d like to get some practical experience with your culture. Engage in the typical activities of the Tau’ri.”

He should’ve known. Daniel leaned back in his chair, eyeing her suspiciously. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said with studied innocence, twirling the end of a pigtail around her finger. “Dancing? The cinema?”

Daniel frowned. “That sounds less like a ‘cultural experience’ and more like a date.”

“Not at all, darling! I simply want to see what life is like for the young people of this country. You can even bring Cameron along for protection.”

Before Daniel could object to the idea of needing a bodyguard, Cam piped up. “No way. I am not going to be your chaperone for a night of wining and dining. Dancing and movies are definite date activities.”

“So what are some non-date activities?” Vala asked.

Cam shrugged. “I don’t know… bowling?”

Vala hopped off the desk. “Bowling it is then. See you both tomorrow night at eight.”

As she slipped quickly out the door, Daniel and Cam looked at one another. Cam raised an eyebrow. “Do you get the strange feeling we’ve just been scammed?”

Daniel nodded. “The scary part is that we don’t know how.”

&&&&&

"Wow," Cameron muttered, looking around the nearly empty bowling alley. "Welcome to Pleasantville!" Seeing Daniel and Vala's blank expressions, he added, "You know, the movie where... nevermind. Why does this place look like it hasn't changed since 1956?"

"It only looks that way."

Cameron turned toward the voice behind him. "Hi." The girl looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"It's Zoe, right?" Daniel asked, offering a handshake (which Zoe looked at oddly, but accepted). "I believe you met Vala, and this is Cameron."

"Hi." Zoe said, with a half-wave and an age-appropriate lack of handshaking. "So... Real or virtual?"

Cameron tilted his head and smiled quizzically. "What or what?"

"Real or virtual? Bowling," Zoe clarified, with a tone that implied Cam might be a little dense.

"They have virtual bowling?" Cameron asked and Zoe nodded. "Guys, they have virtual bowling. I told you this town was going to be cool!"

Zoe laughed. "Come on. I'll show you."

"Daniel!" Vala stopped him quickly before he could follow the others. Zoe and Cameron turned back and waited. "Don't you think I should learn the traditional method? 'Cultural experience' and all?"

"It's fine," Cameron began with a poorly-suppressed note of disappointment, but Daniel cut him off.

"You go ahead, Cam. I'll teach her."

"Thanks!" Cameron said, happily heading for the far side of the alley with Zoe.

"Yes, thank you," Vala said, with a smile that was just a bit too smug.

&&&&&

"Okay, watch me." Daniel demonstrated the proper motions again, slowly, without actually releasing the ball. "Now try again."

Vala lifted the ball and carefully adopted the stance Daniel showed her. With a look of concentration, she swung the ball forward - too quickly, causing her to lose her balance and spin around. Daniel dove forward, catching her arm and the ball before she could send it flying in the wrong direction. Vala smiled up at him. "Oops?"

Heaving a sigh, Daniel tried to maintain his patience. "You're forgetting to step forward, and you're not holding the ball high enough."

"This is just so difficult," Vala said, all innocence. "Could you guide me through the motions, like you did the first time?"

Daniel pursed his lips warily, but complied. Placing his hands on her waist, he turned her toward the lane. "Right foot in front of the left," he reminded her. "Heel to toe." Reaching around her, he guided her hands into the proper position. "Hold the ball a little closer to your chest." Vala turned and smiled suggestively at him, but he ignored it. "Okay, now, when I let you go, three steps forward starting with your left. Remember what I showed you about the proper swing, and release the ball when your arm is at about a 45 degree angle. Got it?"

"Can you show me once more?"

"Vala..." Daniel growled.

"Yes, I think I've got it."

Daniel stepped back and Vala tried again. She stumbled a little bit, but managed to release the ball down the lane. When the ball actually struck the pins, she jubilantly threw her arms around Daniel's neck. "I did it!"

Daniel partially disentangled himself and peered over her shoulder. "Well, you knocked down two. That's a start."

"It certainly is! I think we should go to dinner to celebrate."

"What?" He was so used to being bewildered by Vala that there was always a hint of resignation in Daniel's tone of confusion.

"All this bowling has given me an appetite. Could we please go to the Cafe now?"

"You've bowled exactly two frames. How can that have given you an appetite?"

"I don't know, but I'm famished. Please, Daniel?"

Daniel looked at her with open suspicion. "You never say please unless you want something."

"Well, that is the general purpose of the word, darling. It is meant for pleading."

"What about Cam?"

"He's a smart boy. He'll find his way home." Vala tried to steer Daniel toward the door, but he resisted. Across the alley, Zoe laughed at something Cam said and gave him a playful shove. Cam's wide grin was all that was visible beneath his VR visor. Vala could see the wheels turning in Daniel's head, and made a last ditch effort to distract him. "Okay, I confess."

Now she had his attention. "Confess what?"

"This was a ploy to get you on a date. I just wanted you all to myself for awhile. Is that so wrong?"

Daniel's eyes narrowed as he searched her face. "I don't think that's what you wanted at all." Vala scrambled to form another excuse, but before she could open her mouth, Daniel asked, "Why did you want us both out of the house?"

"Well... I..." Vala drew a blank, happy but surprised that his guess had been so far off the mark.

"It was a nice thought," Daniel said with a half-smile, relieved to have concluded that her scheme was a harmless one, "But Jack and Sam will work things out in their own time. You don't need to matchmake."

"You're absolutely right," she agreed, and in a way he was. He'd accused her of the right crime, just the wrong victims.